Feral Hogs of Texas

By Marion Kelley Bullock

I’ve been hearing news reports lately that have me as skittish as some of Brandilyn Collins’ spine-tingling novels. The terrifying topic is feral hogs in Texas. Now, I knew there were such beasties. But I thought they were off in some never-never land, some remote place where I’d likely never set foot. But right here in Texas? No way!

A popular network newscaster appeared on a news show two nights ago, airing a segment about these predators and how they were invading almost every county in Texas. I grew panicky.

“Precious, did you hear what he said?” I could hardly get my breath.

My black and white Maine Coon cat opened one eye and regarded me solemnly. Evidently, she hadn’t been listening to the report. Either that, or she thought she was a match for the animals in question. I must enlighten her.

“Honey, they’re much, much bigger than you. 120 or 130 pounds to your 20 pounds.”

She closed her eye and sighed. She just wasn’t taking me seriously.

“Precious, this is urgent. You must take notice. Perhaps you should stay in the house all the time…”

“Neow-w-w.” Her word for negatory.

“Well,” I said. “If you insist on going outside occasionally, you must be extra cautious.”

“Heow-w-w?”

“Just keep your eyes open for any short-legged pig-like animal with a long snout and tusks…”

She sighed again. Her eyes were half-closed. I think she meant to say, “what if I see one?”

“Run like crazy and climb a tree.” And that’s just what I’d do.